It's once again a Sar-tur-daeh NIGHT. After much pleasure having fun with mentos and home decor magazines, we provide you with some in'SIDEs from the Chicken. Of course, do not neglect your stardies.“The Singapore Airshow was not bad, lah,” said Pasir Pis resident Mr. Mohd Tengok bin Ular.
“Tapi got a lot of planes, but no snakes. Maybe next year they can put snakes on the planes, and it will be more exciting.”
Mr. Tengok was also puzzled by the name of the event.
“Airshow,” he rubbed his goatee thoughtfully. “To be honest, I didn’t see any air. Actually, air is invidi… insivibi… invisidibi… is cannot see, one, betul tak? Cannot see, how to show? How can ketuk people $20 and don’t show what the title promises? It should be call the ‘Singapore Planeshow’, lah.”
However, other Singaporeans said that there was definitely air at the Airshow – but it was small.
“I park my car at Changi Coast there and try to catch free show, because not say I say what, $20 plus parking is too chia lat,” said Mr. Chin Too Lan. “But then of course the mata come and saman me. Damn small air, man.”
Meanwhile, paying attendee Mr. Peh Tee Kit said he also saw some MediaCock celebrities at the show, “Got airheads, so confirm Airshow got air, mah.”
The first article read finish already anot? HAR?Second one.So inflation is apparently, um, inflating in Singapore. Prices of everything have gone up! Even (especially?) our Ministers. Okay, so maybe we peasants don’t have the power to make them slash their salaries… so what else can we ask the Gahmen to do to make themselves less expensive/more cost effective?
1. When buying up stakes in foreign banks or telcos, try shopping for them on eBay instead.
2. Install ERP gantries outside Ministers’ driveways
3. Suspend construction of the Death Star.
4. Wipe your backsides with $50 dollar bills instead of $100 dollar bills.
5. Or even better, the State’s Times.
6. Just watch ‘Maggi & Me’ on TV instead of having Fiona Xie personally act out the episodes in the Parliament House lounge
7. Save on laundry costs – avoid wearing all-white clothes because they get dirty more easily.
8. Replace MediaCock with a big nationwide screensaver; it’ll be just as exciting and probably more intelligent.
9. Isn’t constructing the Singapore Flyer a bit of an expensive way to look down on people?
10. Instead of giving political detainees the expensive air-con treatment, why not try the cheaper fan treatment instead?
11. Snack on ordinary Tong Garden peanuts, not those $600,000 ones.
12. Wear good-fitting, supportive underwear instead of having so many people following you around and carrying your balls.
13. Do you really need to spend so much money bringing Formula One into Singapore? Why so atas? Formula Two cannot, meh?
14. When calling up international heads of state, use Skype.
15. Don’t run up expensive lawyer’s fees with all those defamation suits. Just ask the Judge to order Dr. Chee to tell you his ATM PIN.
16. When filling up your Jacuzzis, use the cheaper Sevruga caviar instead of the more expensive Beluga caviar.
17. Pay Satan in instalments.
18. Do you really need Gurkhas to protect you? Try Goondus instead. Singapore got so many, and cheaper some more.
19. Does the PM really need that marching band to follow him wherever he goes, playing the Star Wars Imperial March?
20. When ordering mee siam, don’t ask for hum.
We apologise for the lateness of copying and pasting, I need time to finish my mentos, right? Don't whatever me ok.
